It’s amazing how a dime to quarter-size drop of flavored lube can turn good oral sex into a hedonistic pleasure for both givers and receivers. Sure, licking something tasty is fun, but lube can help make your lips, mouth and tongue do some pretty amazing things. It can really turn up sensations for recipients, too.
With so many flavored lubes on the market, it’s hard to know which ones to buy and try. Not all stores have samples you can taste. If you buy online, it’s easy to be misled by brilliant marketing. It can be easy to overlook some great lubes that don’t get a lot of public hype, too.
I contacted every brand and manufacturer of flavored lubes and invited them to be part of The Great Lube Taste Test. I wanted to judge every one by taste — how authentic they tasted and how well their flavors held up – and by the quality of the lubes themselves on a scale of 0-10.
I’m like everyone else; not all flavors are my favorites, but I kept in mind how certain flavors are supposed to taste.
All of the lubes tested were water-based except for three of them. Lube ingredients were also given a high priority in assessing overall performance.
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If a brand or flavor you are curious about is not represented, it’s because I did not receive the product.
Read more about flavored lubes in my companion post, Flavored Lubes Make Oral Sex Much More Luscious.
Absolute Raspberry – ForPlay – Succulent – I tried in vain to find a flavor from ForPlay’s Succulent line that tasted anything close to the flavor it claimed to be (Champagne Cocktail, Cosmic Cosmo), didn’t have more chemical taste than purported flavor (Peachy Peach), or didn’t singe my taste buds and burn my throat (Cherries Jubilee, Great Grape, Kool Watermelon, Passion Fruit). Absolute Raspberry comes in at a 2 for its faint raspberry flavor that isn’t otherwise horribly offensive in any of the aforementioned ways.
Where this lube more than redeems itself to be a 10 in its overall rating is in so many of its magic qualities. Only a pea-size dab is needed to fully lube up a penis. The faint flavor doesn’t last long, but it’s the lube itself that makes it the best thing ever invented for oral sex. It made me want to kiss, suck, lick and glide my lips on a shaft forever in subliminal, hypnotic way. It kept my lips and tongue moist without wanting to stop and gather up more saliva for the good, long time that it lasted. This lube on skin is probably the nicest thing your lips and tongue will ever feel. Even if you don’t like giving head to a man, you’ll want to and enjoy it with this lube.
This is also the only warming lube I’ve ever used that actually works. It feels like a light, fuzzy blanket when you rub it in or blow it on it. If I were a man, I couldn’t imagine anything that would make for better fellatio.
By the time I got done working this lube in every way possible, it left my skin feeling remarkably soft and mess-free. I don’t remember my lips ever feeling so kissably tender. There’s no need to wipe, rinse or wash this lube off yourself or your partner by the time you’re done with it.
The biggest bonus of all is that it’s made with 100% natural body-safe ingredients.
Flavor Rating: 2
Overall Rating: 10
Apple Cinnamon – Nature Labs – Naturally Yours – This tastes like one of my favorite childhood snacks – sliced green apples dusted with powdered cinnamon. This is one heck of a juicy lube and a healthy “snack” in more ways than one – natural apple cinnamon aroma, cellulose thickening agent, and it’s vegan and Kosher. Does not contain parabens, DEA, glycerin or petroleum. This lube definitely takes the guilt out of your guilty pleasure.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 10
Banana – ID – Futopia – Goes on the tongue and skin like banana cream pie but the flavor doesn’t last long. Has a slick, luxurious glide that goes beyond the usefulness of just an oral sex lubricant. Leaves skin feeling moisturized. Contains all body-safe ingredients except the possible exception of glycerin.
Flavor Rating: 7
Overall Rating: 8
Blue Raspberry – Sliquid – Swirl – I’d put these berries in my oatmeal or yogurt if this was actual food. This lube has a creamy taste and texture. Compared to most water-based lubes, this one has to be reapplied a little more often, but the taste will have you coming back anyway.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 7
Blueberry – My Joy Collection – Candy Lube – As soon as I put this on my tongue, it was like a whole bag of blueberry Razzles exploded in my mouth. Instead of turning into gum, this water-based lube is on par with most high-quality silicone lubes I’ve used. Once I licked and rubbed it out, my skin felt velvety soft.
Flavor Rating:10
Overall Rating: 10
Cherry – Adam & Eve – Has a very lick-a-licious dark cherry taste with a hint of a vanilla/cream. The flavor holds up well in a subtle way as the lube works into but not completely off the skin while licking and stroking. Goes on slippery but not drippy and has a lotion-y glide. It’s definitely what’s for dessert if parabens are not a concern for you.
For more product information, visit Lovehoney
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 8
Cherry – ID – Frutopia – Has a subtle and sweet ripe cherry taste. Too bad the flavor doesn’t last long, but the lube holds up well. Feels decadently creamy and leaves skin feeling luxuriously smooth. Contains glycerin and lots of all-natural ingredients.
Flavor Rating: 6
Overall Rating: 7
Cherry Pop – Sex Tarts – If you’re from Michigan or know anyone from the mitten state, you know that we call soda “pop”. It’s exactly what this lube tastes like, even down to the fizz on the tongue. It has a very sweet artificial cherry taste, but I don’t mean that in a bad way; more of a nostalgic way. It doesn’t have much of a staying power as a lube (and admittedly, parabens are a concern), but you’ll have lots of fun going for seconds and thirds with no calories to feel guilty about. This is strictly a just-for-fun oral sex flavored lube.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 4
Cherry Vanilla – Sliquid – Swirl – This lube sits on the tongue like a warm, flat cherry soda. The vanilla doesn’t come through on its own or as a flavor enhancer. It falls flat as a lube and goes on a little runny, but leaves skin smelling and feeling sweetly soft.
Flavor Rating: 3
Overall Rating: 5
Chocolate Bliss – Swiss Navy Flavors – Dark chocolate lovers, this lube is for you! Its highly suckable gel-like texture will have you going for every last bit of flavor … and to the delight of your partner, too. It’s not the longest lasting water-based lubricant, but it’s worth reapplying and leaves skin feeling moist, soft and mess-free when it’s fully absorbed.
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 8
Chocolate Cherry – Nature Labs – Naturally Yours – This could easily pass for liquid milk chocolate covered cherries. The only downside to the taste is that the flavor doesn’t last long enough. The texture is equally creamy and holds up very well to a lot of licking and stroking without glycerin. Sweetened with Stevia. Vegan and Kosher. No parabens, DEA or petroleum.
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 10
Cooling Peppermint – Swiss Navy Flavors – “Cooling” isn’t the word to best describe this peppermint flavor; but it tastes like fresh-picked mint that’s creamy, not obnoxiously sweet, and doesn’t burn the mouth and tongue. It’s the perfect use of mint for a lifelike consistency lubricant. I only wish that it lasted longer than most water-based lubes. Propolyne glycol, a sugar alcohol, is one of its ingredients.
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 7
Grape Soda – Sex Tarts – Get your tongue and pucker ready to lap up every last bit of just-cracked-opened-the-bottle of grape soda goodness. This lube licks away pretty quickly, but this Sex Tarts flavor in particular will really get your salivary glands going. Your partner will love what you’re doing with your tongue, lips and mouth as much as you enjoy the taste and fizzy sensation. As sweet as it is, this lube leaves behind no sticky mess. Contains parabens.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 4
Green Apple – Sliquid – Swirl – Faintly tastes like an out-of-season starchy green apple but it’s not horribly offensive. This lube soaks into the skin so quickly that you don’t even get a chance to lick it off. I wish I could give this lube points for its skin-softening attributes and being vegan and glycerin- and paraben-free, but it just doesn’t deliver on flavor or performance.
Flavor Rating: 1
Overall Rating: 3
Green Apple Fizz – Sex Tarts – This is my guilty pleasure junk “food” lube. It doesn’t have much going for it as a lubricant. It’s runny, doesn’t last long, and contains parabens, but it has a lot going on in the flavor and sensation departments — and I mean a lot! It’s very sweet and tangy, almost like an apple cider made from green and very sweet ripe red apples. My lips puckered and my tongue tingled. Now imagine what you can do with that going down on your partner
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 4
Madagascar Vanilla – Yes – This has no taste at all but has a buttery fragrance. This organic, vegan, ointment style oil-based lubricant goes on the skin almost transparently, and has a soft, but not slick, heavenly glide. Because it’s an oil-based lube, it’s not safe for latex condoms or toys.
For more product information, visit Lovehoney
Flavor Rating: 0
Overall Rating: 8
Mocha Java – Wicked – This tastes like a good cup of coffeehouse coffee if you like a little bit of coffee with your sugar. Sugar preferences aside, it was too much of a good thing. The aftertaste lingered in my mouth like a house guest who overstayed her welcome. Very runny, drippy consistency.
Flavor Rating: 2
Overall Rating: 0
Mojito – Nature Lovin’ – Koala –
My sister makes the best mojitos – fresh-picked muddled mint leaves, a light touch of simple syrup, and just enough rum to make you feel pleasantly mellow. This lube comes pretty darn close to that taste, but has a thin almost rubbery glide. Contains lot of good-for-you ingredients leaves skin feeling touchably soft.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 7
Peppermint Tingle – Aloe Cadabra – This certified organic aloe-based lube has just enough peppermint oil to tingle the tongue without burning your mouth or throat. It has a very subtle cooling effect when you blow on it, too. A tiny dab of this goes a long way, feels remarkably similar to natural female lubrication, but fades into the skin with hardly a moment’s notice. It may need to be reapplied more frequently than most water-based lubes.
Flavor Rating: 8
Overall Rating: 8
Pina Colada – Aloe Cadabra – Contains organic pina colada flavor concentrate and vanilla extract but tastes stale. Lots of other good stuff like organic aloe leaf juice and tocopheryl acetate (if you wanted to know the chemical name for vitamin E oil), but has to be reapplied at least once. At least you’ll smell like a hint of a tropical vacation and feel velvety soft “down there” when you’re done.
Flavor Rating: 4
Overall Rating: 7
Pina Colada – Swiss Navy Flavors – Definitely tastes and smells like fresh coconut and pineapple, but poured out of the sample packet like water. No lubrication merit at all to speak of. I’m not sure if this is inconsistency among products in this product line or overall poor quality control.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 0
Pineapple Express – Cannalube – I’m totally on board with this lube! It tastes like the freshest, ripest pineapple you could imagine. You’ll want to lick your partner for hours if he or she will let you. It’s also one of the best water-based lubes I’ve ever used. Cannabis oil (nothing that will get you high) and aloe vera extract give it great viscosity and glide, lots of staying power, and left my skin feeling baby butt smooth after it absorbed into my skin.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 10
Raspberry Cough – Cannalube – Don’t let the “cough” fool you. This tastes nothing like raspberry-flavored cough syrup. With a brand name like Cannalube, which contains hemp seed oil … well, you get the inference. This is packed with just-picked-off-the-garden-vine-and-doesn’t-make-it-into-the-house sweetness. A great water-based lube that takes a licking.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 10
Raspberry Lime – Kama Sutra – Divine Nectars – On the first lick straight out of the bottle it was like Stoli Rapspberri with a squirt of lime mixed with tonic on the rocks. Once it worked into the skin, the flavor took on more of a subtle note in the background. The oily but not slimy texture lends a lot of smoothness to this flavor. The more this lube is licked and stroked, the mellower this flavor gets. This water-based lube has a lot of staying power, but glycerol may be a concern for those who are prone to yeast infections.
Flavor Rating: 8
Overall Rating: 8
Raspberry Pomegranate – Wet – Flavored – Loaded with lots of raspberry candy sweetness (maybe a little too much), but I’m sure the pomegranate is in there somewhere. This is a very runny lube that performs okay. The label says sugar-free, but the ingredients include pentlyne glycol and sucrose, which can metabolize into yeast infections. Leaves a sticky residue. Not a good pick for an internal lubricant.
Flavor rating: 9
Overall Rating: 1
Strawberry – Adam & Eve – This strawberry flavor has all of the complexities and qualities of a fresh strawberry without the seeds – sweet, tart, juicy and slightly tingly. The taste fades a little too quickly, but maybe it’s because it’s a flavor you want to go one forever. Luckily, the lube itself stays on a good, long time and leaves skin feeling very moist after you’re done indulging in all of your temptations. The only thing holding it back from being a superior lube is that it contains parabens.
For more product information, visit Lovehoney
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 8
Strawberry – Pipedream – Flavored Moist –
Has a very lackluster artificial strawberry flavor. Has a slight stickiness, even after it’s absorbed into the skin. Performs adequately as a water-based lube, but contains methylparaben, glycerol, and diazolidinyl urea, a culprit in some contact dermatitis/skin allergies. I’m not sure why this contains artificial color.
Flavor Rating: 4
Overall Rating: 2
Strawberry Haze – Cannalube – At first I thought: “Yum! This tastes like strawberry jam!” Then there was fakey kind of “zing” at the tip of my tongue. However, it mellowed out after a few licks and kept its authentic ripe strawberry taste, and the lube itself kept going strong, too.
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 9
Strawberry Kiwi – Kama Sutra – Divine Nectars – If you’re lucky enough to get strawberries when they’re in season at a farm or a farmers market (not the big, hard perfectly formed berries you get at the grocery store any time of the year), then you know how strawberries taste. This comes close to real strawberry flavor, but it lacks sweetness and juiciness. The kiwi notes have more of a saccharine aftertaste than a tang. However, this lube is juicy on its own and takes a licking in other ways.
Flavor Rating: 5
Overall Rating: 7
Strawberry Kiwi – Swiss Navy – Has a very authentic strawberry kiwi taste that’s juicy and instinctively suckable. So is the lube for as long as it lasts. It’s worth reapplying for flavor and its darn-close-to-real lubricating texture. The label on my sample bottle said it’s sugar-, paraben- and glycerin-free, but glycerin is listed as the second ingredient.
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 8
Strawberry Margarita – Nature Lovin’ – Koala – Has a faint, flat but non-offensive strawberry taste with no hint of anything resembling a margarita. Pours out of the bottle a little runny and feels a little glue-y on fingers and skin.
Flavor Rating: 4
Overall Rating: 7
Strawberry Pomegranate – Sliquid Swirl – Straight out of the bottle, this lube leaves a sharp bite on the tip of the tongue and has a flat and bitter aftertaste. Once you start working into the skin, it takes on a delicate creamy taste. Unfortunately, the creamy taste and texture don’t last for long. Leaves skin feeling powdery soft.
Flavor Rating: 5
Overall Rating: 4
Tangy Tangerine – Sex Tarts – This is like a tube of liquid candy with a bright tangerine taste that fizzles on the tongue. This is strictly an oral play lube. It licks off and rubs in quickly, but it’s worth reapplying and leaves skin feeling cleaner and softer than when you started. Contains parabens.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 4
Vanilla Orange – Kama Sutra Divine Nectars – Creamsicle cocktail? Yes, please! Like Kama Sutra’s Raspberry Lime Divine Nectars, this has a hint of a really good vodka undertone but it doesn’t contain alcohol, of course. It’s a lube you’ll definitely want to linger over, especially if your partner likes to be pleased slow and steady. This lube goes on a little runny, but is dewy and moist once you start working with it.
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 9
Very Wild Cherry – Swiss Navy Flavors – This has a sweet but slightly cough syrupy cherry flavor without the alcohol burn. This lube came out of the sample packet in a watery, runny mess that dripped all over the place and didn’t stay on the skin at all. Maybe it was a bad batch? I can only judge what I got.
Flavor rating: 4
Overall Rating: 1
Watermelon – Adam & Eve – This tastes like a succulent watermelon that’s just a day or two from being fully ripe. It has a touch of saltiness for those who like a little salt on their watermelon. The flavor doesn’t last long, but this lube has a pleasing lotion-y feel once you get it working on your skin. Has a nice glide without feeling too slippery. If parabens are a concern, you might want to pass on this lube.
Flavor Rating: 9
Overall Rating: 8
Watermelon – ID – Fruitopia – Has a sweet and light watermelon flavor. It’s too bad the flavor doesn’t last as long as the lube, which has a pleasant and not overly slippery glide. This lube will likely have to be reapplied, but it leaves skin well moisturized after its absorbed into the skin. Contains natural flavors and no parabens.
Flavor Rating: 7
Overall Rating: 8
Watermelon Splash – Sex Tarts – Think of this like it’s liquid Jolly Rancher watermelon candy; sweet and puckery. Then imagine what your mouth can do with a taste like that inside of it. This is the kind of fun that will make you feel like a teenager … except you know what you’re doing now. The only downsides are that it doesn’t last long (reapplying it could be part of the fun) and it contains parabens.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 4
Woo Woo (Vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry) – Nature Lovin’ – Koala – This could be quite the non-virginal sex cocktail without the booze, but it goes down too quickly as a lube. In other words, it has no staying power. At least it dries with no stickiness, tackiness or residue and leaves skin feeling amazingly soft.
Flavor Rating: 10
Overall Rating: 7
Other Flavors I Recommend Based on Product Performance
As much as I wished every company/brand could have sent me all of their flavors, these are additional flavors I feel safe in recommending based on my favorable reviews in their product lines.
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything at All
There were some lubes that failed on so many levels and didn’t have any redeeming qualities. I don’t take any joy in writing scathing reviews unless it’s something I purchased. Normally, I would contact a company privately to express my concern and disappointment, but in the interest of preventing an unfortunate purchase or ruining someone’s sexy fun time, here are the lubes I tested that had flavor and overall ratings of 0:
Baconlube – J & D’s Foods
Candy Apple – Wicked
Cherry – Pipedream – Flavored Moist
Kissable Cherry – California Fantasies- Razzels
Kiwi – Pipedream – Flavored Moist
Kiwi Strawberry – Wet – Flavored
Passion Fruit – Pipedream – Flavored Moist
Passion Fruit Pizzazz – Wet – Fun Flavors 4-in-1
Passion Fruit Punch – Wet – Flavored
Pleasurable Green Apple – California Fantasies – Razzels
Poppin’ Cherry – Wet – Fun Flavors 4-in-1
Salted Caramel – Wicked
Seductive Strawberry – Wet – Fun Flavors 4-in-1
Sinful Strawberry – California Fantasies – Razzels
Sour Cherry – Wet – Flavored
Strawberry – LifeStyles
Strawberry – Pipedream – Flavored Moist
Watermelon – Wet – Flavored
Tropical Teeze – California Fantasies – Razzels
Tutti Frutti – California Fantasies – Razzels
Watermelon Blast – Wet – Fun Flavors 4-in-1
Whiskey Dick – J & D’s Foods
Wild Blueberry – Wet – Flavored
Wild Watermelon – California Fantasies – Razzels
Saturday, December 12, 2020