We’re always debating who should pay on a date, but the folks at CreditDonkey.com passed along some information from a survey it took that shows who actually pays on a date.
Just over half of women surveyed said both genders should take turns paying for dates, but only 6.5% of the female respondents seem to practice that philosophy according to the CreditDonkey’s August 2014 survey.
Through most of the 20th century, men were customarily expected to pay for dates. According the survey, only 1 in 3 of men surveyed now believe they should always be responsible for the check, and even fewer women (25.9%) surveyed favor the custom.
Of the women polled in the survey, 54% said each gender should take turns paying, and 47.8% of the men agreed with that strategy. Apparently, however, this approach at fairness is easier said than done. When asked how often they actually pay for dates, just 6.5% of women said “often,” whereas 51.7% of men said they usually pay.
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Although 49.4% of women surveyed said they “sometimes” pay for dates compared with 27.4% of men, the overall survey findings suggest that members of both genders are reluctant to give the “male pays” tradition a final burial.
Our study shows that anyone, no matter what the gender, would appreciate if their date treats them every once in a while.
Perhaps, older people tend to cling to the tradition more than young adults. While 22% of respondents age 18-24 believe the man should usually pay for dates, that figure climbs to 46.4% among 45- to 54-year-olds before declining to 37.5% among people age 55-64.
On the other hand, the notion that men and women should take turns paying enjoys majorities or pluralities among every age group:
What the vast majority of men and women agree upon is that they don’t like alternative solutions to the potential conflict that arises when the check arrives. Only 10.1% of men and 13.1% of women said each person should pay for themselves by going Dutch, and the percentage of people who think the highest income earner should foot the bill are in the single digits: 6.8% for men and 6.9% for women.
These are interesting findings, but the answer to should pay for a date should never be a standard rule for everyone in the first place. Here are some of my guidelines:
Always assume that the person doing the asking out will pay, but always offer to pay for your share or leave a tip.
If someone offers to pay the bill, don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu or go overboard on drinks, appetizers and dessert. Follow in line with what your thoughtful date orders.
Don’t ask someone out and say that you can’t afford to pick up the entire bill. (It’s happened to me a few times.) That’s tacky. Stick to an idea that you can afford.
On the first few dates that you offer to pay in full, never assume that you’re going to get laid. Dinner and drinks is not an expectation or quid pro quo for sex. Sex is something that you should negotiate, discuss and mutually and enthusiastically consent to before it happens.
CreditDonkey conducted the online survey of 1,254 Americans, age 18 and over between August 8 and August 12, 2014.
Saturday, December 26, 2020