There’s a reason for everything and figuring out why you are having trouble landing a girlfriend isn’t always easy.
Besides, if you knew why, you wouldn’t have an issue right?
We are going to uncover oodles of different common and not-so-common reasons why you might be having trouble in the girl department, so you can take action to make positive changes.
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After you understand why you are having issues, then you can make a plan to break through your obstacles and find a solution.
21 Reasons You Can’t Get A Girlfriend
One – You Aren’t Trying Enough Times
If you are serious about getting a girl, you’ve got to step up to the plate and hit it like you mean it. Use as many approaches as you can until you land the girl.
Studies say the majority of guys that can’t get a girlfriend just don’t try enough times. In other words, they give up prematurely.
Guys don’t like rejection and if they ask a girl out and she says no, it often takes months before he’ll try again!
Don’t let the sheer fear of rejection stop you from getting a nice girlfriend.
Rinse and repeat. Ask a girl out and get her phone number. Keep doing it until you get a yes. And try not to be too picky because if one girl isn’t going to work for you, then you owe it to yourself to try another.
Two – You’re Too Picky
Chances are you’ve been looking at too many Victoria Secret magazines and they have painted an unrealistic vision of the perfect girl for you in your brain. Having too many set features or characteristics is going to set you up to fail.
Time for you to open your mind and get real. Step outside your comfort zone and take a second glance at a girl that doesn’t fit your perfect picture.
You never know until you try.
Three – Quitters Never Win
If you’re the type of man that quits too quickly, there’s no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend. Resilience is golden in the dating and relationship department.
Ask a girl out and if she’s busy, that’s fine. You can still ask her out again another time. Have a little patience and persistence; and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to actually get a girlfriend.
Think of it from the girls perspective for a minute. Maybe she needs a little time to warm up to you? Give it a chance by asking her again in a week or so and you just might be pleasantly surprised.
Four – You Live In Your Parent’s Basement
Sorry boys, if you still live with your parents, that shouts out to the world, you are a loser. Girls don’t want to go out with a boy that lives with mommy and daddy.
If you are working and can afford to live on your own, you better do it quick if you ever want to have a meaningful relationship. Scratch that, if you ever want to have any relationship at all.
When you live on your own, it’s one of the best routes to secure a girlfriend.
Five – You’re Just A Nice Guy
This isn’t a good thing because “nice” guys usually do finish last. If you’re too nice, the girls aren’t going to give you a second glance.
Stop being too nice and you’ve got a chance.
Six – Hygiene Issues
If you have any kind of hygiene issues, you will never get a girlfriend. Bad breath, dirty clothes, and greasy hair are bad news.
Some girls don’t want a man to be her boyfriend for very specific almost anal reasons, and not taking care of yourself definitely fits the bill.
Seven – You Let Your Insecurities Get In The Way
Everyone has things they don’t like about themselves and some things just need to be accepted or changed. Maybe you’ve lost your hair so you’re going to have to just get over that one. But if you are overweight, you can make changes to lose weight and get happy.
Regardless, you are who you are in the now and if you don’t love yourself, you might never get a girlfriend.
Everyone has flaws and that’s no reason not to have a girlfriend, unless of course you let it get in the way.
Look around you. Happy couples come in all different shapes and sizes. Stop letting your insecurities be your excuse.
Eight – Trying Too Hard To Be Perfect
The girls actually like the men who aren’t perfect. You see, when a man seems too perfect, this puts pressure on the girl to try and be perfect too. Then she’s going to get worried she isn’t good enough and that’s enough to make a girl run far and fast the other way.
Think about this one for a minute.
Nine – Expecting The Woman To Make The First Move
Of course, there are times when a girl initiates the first move but that’s far and few in between.
The Truth is…the majority of women prefer a man to make the first move and if he hasn’t got the balls to do that, she will just move on.
That’s not a challenge, just the truth!
Ten – You’re The Man That’s Always Lost In The Crowd
If you happen to be the guy that hangs out with popular and super sexy strong men, you will be last in the pecking order. So if the men around you are stronger than you, they are shining brighter and your sweet personality will never been seen much less valued.
Don’t put yourself out at the expense of your friends. You will never ever in a zillion years get a girlfriend, if all the talk is about the friends you hang out with.
Something else to think about.
Eleven – You Happen To Shy Away From All Things Social
If you are a social introvert naturally, you’re making it super tough on yourself to get a girlfriend.
Newsflash! If you are serious about getting a girlfriend, you need to step out into the light and go to the social places where girls hangout.
No if’s, and’s, or but’s about this one.
Twelve – You Get Stuck On Your Past Screw-Ups!
If you get all crazy about your past mistakes with women, it will interfere with getting a girlfriend in the now.
Yes, it’s natural to think about how you screwed up but if you really want a girl on your arm, you’ve just got to let it go.
Use your past to learn and grow from, not to dwell on with an interference factor.
You are human and you will make mistakes. Let it go and focus on the positive and you will get your girl.
Thirteen – You Happen To Be Mr. Complainer
If you are a perpetual complainer that yaps on and on about how crappy your life is and how you will never get a girl ever, then you don’t deserve a girlfriend.
Seriously dude! Stop complaining and start talking positive. Your attitude and demeanor will change and trust me, the girls will come.
This one is your choice.
Fourteen – You Just Don’t Have The Logical Discipline To Ask Women Out Regularly
This is a learning process and you need to sometimes just throw your hat to the wind and go for it.
If you aren’t willing to regularly ask women out, then you are choosing all by yourself to not have a girlfriend. Pretty sad if you ask me.
Fifteen – You Are Too Focused On Work For Anything Else
This one is a no-brainer. If you are working crazy hours and not willing to make time for dating and a girl, you will never have one.
Sadly, there are some men that choose their career over having a girlfriend and in the end, they are left with nothing.
Sixteen – You’re Too Chicken To Tell It Like It Is
I’m calling you boys out here. If you can’t make yourself a tad vulnerable and let a girl know that you are interested in being more than just friends, you risk the chance of only being friends and nothing more.
What you need to do is step up to the plate and tell this girl you want to kiss her and that you want her to be your girl. When you do this, she’ll either be head over heels receptive or she won’t.
Don’t you think it’s worth it just to find out?
Seventeen – You Are Seriously Out Of Shape
This doesn’t mean you need to be ripped and have a six-pack! What this means is that you shouldn’t be sporting a beer belly and you should make an effort to have some muscle and a little sexy lean tissue mass.
That is super hot!
You don’t have to be perfect but you need to try.
Truth – When you are in shape, you are showing her you care about your body and that works wonders when you are focused on getting a girl.
Eighteen – You Are Just Thought Of As Icky
Sorry to say, women do care about looks and that’s something you need to stick into your pipe and smoke it.
Yes, a guy cares way more about how his girl looks, but…Girls care too!
A girl does care about how you look and if you are ugly and a slob, she’s just not going to be your girlfriend no matter how sweet you are. Please understand this before you take one more step forward.
FACT – Guys have it SO much easier than girls. All you need is a clean look and some stubble and you can drive a girl crazy.
Stop your complaining and take action. You will win if you do.
Nineteen – No Money Or Potential
There is no doubt that money draws the sweet girls in. I really don’t care what you think, because money is what many girls want.
If you are financially secure, you will get a girlfriend. That might not be fair but that is reality…Trust me.
Women want to be able to go out to a movie or a nice meal without worry. And for bonus if you can take them on a mini vacation without the worry of money, you are golden.
That’s the truth straight up.
Twenty – The Same Stuff On Repeat WILL Kill You
If you are a programmed creature of habit that never changes his ways, you just aren’t going to have a girlfriend.
Girls are drawn to the strong men that are going to take them on new adventures. The men that will step outside their comfort zone to wow her. End of story.
If you want to find your value and perhaps find a girlfriend for real, you need to drop your walls and open them up to opportunity. Then you need to show her and make it happen.
Twenty One – You Are Too Needy
Girls have no trouble sniffing out the man that is needy and dependent. Secret – That’s a total turn-off.
Women are drawn naturally to men that are confident and sure in themselves. The ones that will make bold decisions and put the girl first.
For sure, girls do not want an insecure man that doesn’t know how to take control and make decisions. There are a zillion fish in the sea…that’s fact.
Step up to the plate if you really want.
Final Words
If you are trying to figure out why you can’t get a girlfriend, you need to seriously stop and consider the facts.
Look through these tips and pointers and see what applies to you.
Take action to change the attributes you need to in order to find the girl of your dreams. Open your mind and understand there will be a bit of a trial and error process. However, when all is said and done, you will overcome your personal obstacles and get the woman you deserve.
Believe it and it will happen!
Reader Interactions
Comments
Well first of all the women of today are very different from the good old days when real love was very easy to find back then for the men in those days. Today unfortunately most women are very selfish, spoiled, greedy, and very money hungry as well. They will only want the very best of all and will never settle for less either, especially since many of these women today are making a six figure income. They will never go with men that make much less money than they make which really explains why many of us good men can’t meet a woman to Accept us for who we really are. And unfortunately we live in a world that most of these women now want the very rich man instead which makes them real users and losers altogether now which most women nowadays just take advantage of these kind of men anyway. And going back to the old days which most women were the very complete opposite than what they really are today which is very sad how the women of today are. So many of us good innocent men out there Aren’t really to blame at all since it is the women of today that have caused many of us men to still be single today as i speak since it really does take two too really tango now.
Timothy Morton says
Spot on my friend! Things have changed significantly since I was dating in the early 80’s. Big-time! Sure, I am 5’7″ in good shape and my finances are in great shape: no, I’m not a 6 figure kind of guy. I have dated many great looking gals until got married in 1989. We were married for 24 years, now divorced 5 years. I am 54 and want to date ladies around my own age, say 48 to 56. It is terrible out there in the dating world. Sure, I’m a little rusty but my God it is horrible. I am picky? Really? Let me guess women can pick and choose but men cannot? I don’t want Playboy or model material women but I do have my standards. I have a home a car and my Harley Davidson. I groom and take care of myself. Online dating is a “crap shoot”. Either the woman profiles isn’t real or she wants Superman. I swear they enjoy the loads of attention or they totally ignore my messages.
Most women just suck nowadays unfortunately which is the real whole problem right there.
Timothy Lorich says
Number 8 contradicts it all. I hate the author, but I appreciate the list. She, obviously, is the epitome of the problem. Oh, so you made a big list of our glaring flaws as men who were wired to want and love you, and protect, and work to support and such—— should be perfect, and simultaneously not try too much to be perfect.
Be nice, but not too nice.
Have a job, but never lose your whipped-ness and always put her before anything else, especially in times of danger.
What they don’t realize is if a guy has to spend his life constantly being rejected, after doing everything he was told by one woman to do to become dateable, is not what the next thousand girls want at all.
Every girl wants a guy that I’m truth doesn’t exist, if it appears to, there’s plenty of lies in there, and probably visa versa.
I am in a really rough situation because I have traits that are not desired according to the list, but not because of the reasons it assumes must be the reason for living in my parents basement, and being kind and not overly concerned about fashion and the chatter mill bullshit that comes with the keeping up with the Jones’s syndrome.
Most women today are crazy SJW liberals. And despite what the author says, women always have it easier. Women just have to be thin, men have to be athletic, rich, assertive and a doormat simultaneously, the list goes on.
You have some good points. Too many women (and men) looking for unicorns. You can thank the all too common soulmate ideal for this. Grant it, most of the things on this list are things we men need to avoid, like being shy, picky, needy, and passive, and I certainly could use some work on some of those things. But it isn’t fair to not expect women to reciprocate by abandoning perfectionism and doing their part in being more datable as well.
The contradiction in the list between not trying to be perfect (#8) and actually trying to be perfect (the rest of them in a sense) is particularly interesting. I think this is an example of how women can be more prone to being indecisive or how they change their mind a lot. It’s like they’re not as strongly inclined to decide what they want and stick with it. And feminism gives not only men, but women an extra burden they were never meant to bear. Many of the traits that are desired out of men based on this list are actually things that stem from the patriarchy, that specter that continuously haunts the feminist. I don’t know what you think of The Federalist’s political views, but I think this article makes an intriguing case that what women really want is the patriarchy:
BTW, if anyone is afraid of this being a sexist man’s argument, the article was written by a woman.
So even if a woman influenced by feminism is rather repulsed by a man who wants to take charge at first, she very well may change her mind about it when he leads and does so with a benevolent purpose and manner.
Carey Macleod says
Wow. Wonder why women don’t like some of you guys. I guess it’s better to live in a delusion than look to your self. I haven’t had any kind of relationship of any length for 20 years. But I know there are lots of wonderful women. I am the reason for my fate. Hope none of you decide to buy a van.
Was just going to write something similar Carey. No wonder these dudes are single, this attitude just screams incel. No wonder women are running from them.
your right on target , couldnt have said it any better
Jacob Raya says
Yes dude. Even though I’m only 17, I feel like relationship status for people from ages 18 to 25 or 30 are very slim to last more than two years in this decade. Sadly, even with the most potential, money is the big part. I mean, I try, play guitar, drums, bass, and acoustic guitar since that is apparently the most romantic, by the way I play all that because I was in two bands. But besides that, being too nice which I find hard to believe is just flat out stupid. What girl wants a guy that has pericings and tattoos all over himself, or has none of those things but is a complete douch and treats them like trash, and they still stay with them. But oh well. I just stick with my music days in and days out.
Here is my list after 40 years of this shit.
1. If she seems like your friend,it’s too late she won’t be your Girl Friend. Girls want friends guys and girls….guys don’t, they want a girl.
2. If she laughs at your jokes or asks lots of questions that are odd she likes u.
3. If she knows your favorite drink or food , or knows how u like your coffee , she likes u.
4. Be nice? I was, a girl dumped me said I was too good for her , no reason given. They don’t want a man like that because it’s like a dog and his master relationship. Women can’t stand being worshipped. Makes the man look weak.
Trust me on this one, it’s seems like it wouldn’t make sense but being too sensitive and kind and not getting mad never worked for me.
5. If you have to keep trying over and over again…don’t. Just keep living life, yes give up ..yes GIVE UP and focus on reading, play the piano, watch movies, travel. A woman will come along. Women are a lot of maintaining, and as a guy you will get back very little. Yes you get back, but the over all burden of kids, risk, home , job, life, your really better being single. You can always have a casual relationship with a girl that likes you, that’s why those types of romances work, cause they are spur of moment and exciting. Girls do it all the time, they just make it seem like they hate it when guys do it. How many times do you see your girl co worker talking to guys and laughing and flirting. How many guys do you see with that behavior?A lot less I guarantee.
6. Be the flame not the moth. Read memoirs of Casanova. It’s great for understanding the bullshit women put out.
Let the women pursue you, never pursue the woman. And if your worried, but but I might lose her, that’s fake news. If she doesn’t pursue you, your screwed and will waste all your time being her shitty friend.
Alan B Watt says
Ok that’s great advice. Be the flame not the moth. I feel better.
I see guys who are broke having hot and gorgeous women in their arms it’s not always about money it’s about a skill of attracting gorgeous women.Some guys work I’m low paying job and have luck with women on the others hand there are guys who are financially stable who don’t have luck with women,women use them for their money the very same women will keep those guys in a friendship zone and go back to a dead beat loser and come back to a guy with money to vent to him about her boyfriend who is a jerk and broke but wants to keep a guy who is financially stable in a friendship zone
Timothy Laverne Smalls says
Aristide Uwiduhaye says
Eddie Tjeda says
Dating women is so easy . We attract who we are period. Maybe ones choices in women have not been carefully selected . Men can’t pretend to have money and not have a financial foundation . If one does guess what type of gals one is going to attract ? Instead focus on ones inner happiness , overall well health , Love yourself for who we are . Go out learn an art . I frequent Salsa and Latin dance studios , I go to dance socials as much as I can …Studios and dance socials cost pennies and no most of these settings are nothing like bars and nightclubs . Believe me when I say the quality of the woman is mind blowing ..You can go to a club if you like but by that point you’ve already got a large social group of woman in your circle because of your ability to dance and be in the social group of the art. It takes ton of courage to get out there and dance but you know quality women are more than receptive to a man with art and courage …Forget the sports car , the fancy over expensive suits and watches , forget the expensive bars and clubs and go downtown to Latin Dance studios and woo women with your new learned skills of Salsa . I assure you this is the game changer .
I ask and get told to “F off” or they just don’t want to know, I must of asked hundreds of women and they all say the same thing, I don’t even bother now as it’s a complete waste of my time as I get absolutely nowhere
This is the best comment. these threads always make it out to be the guys fault. Usually written by some chode male or feminist pos. it’s a very dark world we live in now . Women are nasty two faced liars, fit for the gallows never doesn’t matter how you act it’s all fast fire hook ups that end anyway, if it goes any further they use you as a human atm and cheat. Also it’s all about who can cheat on each other and lie the best.
Carey Macleod says
In this column it is the guys fault. In columns why women can’t find anyone, it their fault. Why women don’t like you is possibly because you hate them. Sad.
I agree. This post is heavily feminist and are pinning and making men think its them. Sometimes, its the woman. Not that everything in here is wrong, but this post was written in pure emotion. Most women are just lost and dont know what they want for themselves and cry back to their exes who beat them because its most likely the man they want in their life.. And trust me, some girls love that.. And no one can deny it, if you do, youre just as bad as the person who wrote some of this “information” in this article. Wake up society! Look at the good minority!
Carey Macleod says
I will never find love because I have had depression all my life and was never able to get a career or job and live with my parents. Had 2 girlfriends in my early 30’s but had no money and having a source of income is important. You could be the best boyfriend/husband in the world in every area but if you have no money and your depression constricts your ability to accomplish anything then a relationship is impossible. I have had no relationship longterm, casual, one night, in twenty years. I could go on but you get the idea. So 12 things mean nothing if you aren’t a functioning grown up.
Do you know how many jobs out there are 10 an hr. What the hell do you want a guy to do. Not everyone can get the good job
This piece ignores the 80/20 rule. Where you have 10 men and 10 women, 8 of the women will pursue 2 of the men. Women will share a desirable man rather than have one guy all to themselves. I have seen it.
So 8 men theoretically have access to 2 women. But one of these two women may be uninterested in the remaining 8 men, or she may be so difificult or demanding that she is undateable. So 8 guys are competing for 1 woman.
Finally, if you are in the bottom 80% even if you do everything on this list there is a good chance you want even get a date, let alone a girlfriend.